Damn

He looked different. I should have noticed it sooner. He looked different. All I was thinking about was "How do I get him to leave without causing a panic?" I should have noticed.

He wasn't wearing a cast on his arm anymore. I don't know how he took it off. I don't particularly care. His arm looked...discolored. That's when I noticed, but by then he was too close. I should have ran to the office then, should have grabbed the box and run.

But he was too close. He grabbed my arm and said, "Where is it?"

"What?" I asked. I was trying to delay, trying to figure out some way to get him leave.

He twisted my arm until it hurt. "Bring me to it." He looked into my eyes and I finally knew Matthias was no longer in the driver's seat.

I brought him to the safe. But I had one ace up my sleeve. Just one chance.

"Open it," he said.

"Key's in here," I said and opened my desk drawer. And I pulled out the gun I kept there. Last resorts and emergencies. That's what it was for. Last resorts and emergencies. I pulled it out and pointed it at him.

He smiled. I don't think I'll ever forget that smile. It was a smile of a man who doesn't care about anything, about living or dying. A man with nothing to fear.

He was faster than I thought. He grabbed the hand that held the gun and then pulled it back until something in my arm snapped. I cried out and then felt his hand over my mouth.

"The way I see it, you have two choices." He leaned closer. "Let me into that safe or Let. Me. In."

You can read about what happened after here. I don't particularly feel like writing about what happened. About Maggie.

Matthias might blame himself for what happened. But I know: it was my fault. It was all my fault. I should have just forced him to leave. I should have moved the box as soon as I knew. I should have...fuck, I don't know. I should have done something, rather than the nothing that I did.

We called the cops. We had to. James and I needed a hospital and Maggie...Maggie was dead. There was no cleaning this up.

Cops finished talking to me thirty minutes ago. I said a guest went crazy. Stole some money. After all, there were witnesses.

I'm going to try and sleep now, but I don't think I can. I don't think I'll be getting much sleep at all now.